Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Shop Relaunch


with a LOT of help, guidance, reassurance and love
i've finally got my shop up and really running again!
Brittany is a strong and very patient woman to have helped me get to this point!
i'm forever grateful for her!!
(love you, girlfriend!!)

just a few (ok, a bunch) pictures to show ya what i've got in the shop now!!

chevron clutches

fabric button earrings
little guy bow ties

how cute are these boys!?

bow tie headbands for girls/ladies

fabric button hairpins

jersey knit maxi skirts
(awesome for maternity wear!)

one of a kind totes

zipper pouches
and i haven't even listed everything in the shop yet!!  eek!

i still have a few one-of-a-kind women's dresses, a new bag and more styles of zippered pouches and clutches to make and list!  i'm just so  happy to be at this point!!  :)

love you all!!  thanks for being patient with me!!

**all pictures by Tiffany of Adore Photography**

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

back in the day...

i was looking thru posts on my private family blog and found this one from the day (or thereabouts) i went to lunch with Brittany and ended up creating my etsy shop and starting this blog.  :)  it's another good reminder that i'm doing what i love.  :)

January 28, 2011

it seemed like it was going to be a normal day in the life of me when i set out for MOLLY'S (favorite restaurant in Provo - check it out if you know what's good for ya!) on wednesday this week.

met my long-time, awesome friend & photographer Brittany for lunch. delicious. and now, all of a sudden, i have an etsy shop.

how did this happen in an hour's time??? well, i'm not sure, but i CAN tell you that i am BEYOND excited about it! it's still so new and nothing is posted or listed, but the idea wheels are a-turnin' and i can't seem to get things done fast enough! household chores and eating are making their way to the bottom of my "to-do" list.

i also started a new blog for it. little mookie is the name, random crafting my game. named for my little man. i tried really hard to find a name that encompasses all of my kids, but it was just too much. i didn't want it to be a mouth full of word vomit that would be too difficult to put to memory. or your google reader.

as far as the "picture a day"stuff... let's be honest. you and i both knew it wasn't going to last. i'm just not good at doing something every day. which maybe isn't a good sign for my etsy???

either way, i've been wanting to do this for a long, long time. thought about it MANY a time and just didn't have the motivation, inspiration or kick in the pants to actually go thru with it! (thank you Brittany!) but it's here, it's now, it's a work in progress and i love it. :)

wish me luck!!!

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

where am i going with this??

i don't usually sit and watch tv.  i have issues with sitting and doing nothing.  i have to be doing SOMEthing almost always.  so if i'm watching tv, more than likely i'm checking emails on my phone, working on a sewing project, doing a puzzle, eating something... that type of thing.  all of that aside, my hubs had a late night soccer game and while he was gone, i tried to clear out some of my recorded shows on the DVR.  SMASH happened to have several episodes i hadn't watched yet.

now, i don't really love the show itself.  i mostly watched them just so i could delete them.  i can't just delete without watching.  i feel like i'm missing out on something.  in one of the episodes, a bunch of the characters are stressed out and they decided they will go to church.  this is the song they sing and i'm HOOKED on it.  HOOKED i tell you!

yes, it's gospel music, and i don't mean to get on a churchy soap box.  if it's not your thing, that's ok!  we can still be friends!  i have several friends who are NOT churchy at all and we're super close.  not that any of that matters.  that's not where i'm trying to go with this.

where am i trying to go with this...  music moves me.  different kinds, styles, genres, artists.  i have a wiiiiide variety on my ipod and this is my current favorite.  for one thing, it makes me want to dance.  i've never been a dancer, but i am in the safety and privacy of my own home.  ;)  for another thing, it moves me in my heart.  there have been many times that i've felt like i didn't know what to do.  i was confused and "stuck" not knowing who to turn to for advice.  the lyrics of this song 'speak' to me in those times n ow that i think back. and even now when i feel like i'm the best ME i've ever been, it helps me keep myself focused on what i, personally, believe.

so if you come by my house and hear this song playing, be sure to get out your smart phone because i can almost guarantee that i'm dancing around like a fool with no idea what i'm doing.  :)

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

recent self discoveries

life can be a tricky little devil, huh?  you think you know what you want, how you feel, who you are only to find that it's SO not the case!  and i suppose that can go both ways.  both for the good and for the bad.  fortunately for myself, it's been on the good half lately.

for a long time i've been trying to figure myself out.  what my personal style is, who i am on the inside (aside from mom, wife, church member, etc.), what i really like to do, and so on and so forth.  for most of my life up to this point, all i wanted to do is disappear into the crowd.  not to be noticed or singled out or put in the spotlight.  i wore whatever was safely trendy.  followed the rules because that's what was expected.  felt inadequate and unbeautiful around friends and strangers.  all of this hidden behind a safety wall, built sturdy and strong.  being shy, never speaking, trying to melt into the wall.

fast forward to this year... i'm trying to figure things out.  what i like to wear and giving it my own spin so it's not just like someone else.  running to try to lose my belly "pooch" and look more like the women i see at the pool.  wishing and hoping to someday get a boob job to balance out my body.  something i've wanted since i was 17 years old.  the list goes on and on.  i've always heard, "you are your own worst enemy" i heard all the talks growing up about loving yourself the way you are.  it was stamped in my mind, only i didn't really care.  all i ever saw were the things i felt were imperfect.  it is so hard to have, let alone keep, a good attitude when you have such a cruddy outlook on yourself.

 fast forward again to last week.  thursday was my Mookie's birthday!  our little man is 2 years old now.  not sure how that happens or what i did to deserve any of my 3 angels, but they're here and they're mine.  thursday was a day to have fun together and not think about working or cleaning or cell phones or facebook.  just play.  together.  so we headed to the pool and i felt brave (feeling like i was having a skinny day) so i wore my 2 piece bikini.  not a two-piece tankini, which i also have, but the kind that shows your entire midriff.  i bought it right before we found out i was pregnant with our Little Turkey, baby #2.  magically, i still fit in the top, small tatas and all.  the bottoms are a different story, but that's beside the point.  i wore it (and a better coverage bottom) and went to the pool.

 this is where my string of AH HA! moments started.  looking around, there are a lot of different body shapes, sizes, ages, pregnant or not at the pool.  and there's an equal variety of apparent comfort levels between people and their bodies.  that's not to say i they would walk around in their swim wear at home or to the store, but at the pool, what they choose, i'm guessing they're comfortable with on some level.  i didn't sit back and think, "wow, at least i don't look like THAT!"  it was more along the lines of realizing how my body is different from theirs and if they can be comfortable, then i could too.  i realized that i am much too hard on myself.  more than i ever knew.  and suddenly, in that moment of realization, i felt happier.  letting go of so much comparison and bad self talk was freeing!


i still have work to do in that department.  it's something to be aware of every single day, but i'm happy to have made such a big step in the right direction.

the next AH HA! moment came on Friday while i was cleaning and getting ready for Mookie's birthday party on Saturday.  i randomly had a magazine in the house (not mine) that i idly flipped through when i was taking a break from the never ending dishes.  articles about fun nail polish colors, summer clothing trends, ways to keep yourself happy - all of them hitting home with me.  big time.

 trying to find my personal style has been a big hurdle for me.  i'm finally feeling like i don't need to be a wallflower wherever i go, although it's still a safe zone for me.  i WANT to stand out a little teensy bit without looking "odd."  so i started wearing fun, bright colors in small portions.  tights, jewelry, shoes (which were already in my everyday wear) a cardigan, fun patterned shirts, skinnies and high tops (a BIG step out of the box for me) -- nothing that changed ME completely, but giving just a little glimpse into how i feel on the inside.  in my quest, i started to feel intruded on.  people doing what i felt was the "same thing" and then suddenly i don't feel like it's ME anymore.  i realize no one person can OWN a style.  i'm sure there are plenty of people out in the world doing exactly what i'm doing.  and yet somehow, it felt like an attack on the me i was trying so hard to find.  my enlightenment came when i realized i could wear the same thing and rock it MY OWN way and have it look totally different.  AH HA!!

 THEN, i figured out that i really am comfortable with my body.  more specifically, my ta-ta's.  they've stayed pretty much the same size despite having children because i'm nursing impaired.  i can be pregnant and have a baby, no problem.  but i cannot produce anything to nurse.  i'm just not built for it.  for that reason, i'm still in pretty good shape up there.  and i'm pretty happy with them i realize.  it would be easier and cheaper to get the rest of my body toned the way i'd like rather than get them done.  i think i've just said for so long that I AM GOING TO GET BOOBS that i felt i needed to get them.  there are so many things i've said i would do and then didn't that i was tired of it.  but i guess that's all changing cause now i don't feel like i need them. maybe don't even want them.  this is HUGE for me.  seventeen years is a long time to want, think about, say you're going to get, etc to all of a sudden do a 180 on.  and yet here i am, and i'm actually happy about it!


i'm finding it to be kind of amazing the difference i see in myself since this past weekend.  i mean, aside from Mother Nature wreaking havoc on my mood, i'm feeling better than i have in literally years.  i know everyone has bad days when nothing is going to bring you up out of your bad self talk, but it will get better!  i promise! you just need to change your thoughts and the results will follow in the same manner!  i'm no doctor.  not even close.  but i truly believe that when you think positive thoughts, you will get positive results.  and the same to be true of the opposite.  negative thoughts will bring negative results.  i truly hope everyone can find just one thing that they love about themselves and focus on that until you can open up to another and then focus on both.  keeping doing that and you'll find yourself loving so very many things about YOU.  maybe more than you even thought possible.

 finding out new things about myself has been a really great experience.  something that happened out of the blue and yet i feel like it came at just the right time.  i hope something in here has helped you or if you have advice, please, please share!!

x's and o's, friends!!  :)

Monday, March 12, 2012

who's awesome? YOU'RE awesome!

 you know what's awesome?  really good friends.  and while i've known for a long time that i'm blessed with them in my life, i keep getting reminders of it.  and that makes me feel all the more blessed to have them.  one such reminder happened this past weekend and it really meant a lot to Ryan and i.  once again, we stopped and said to each other, "that is so awesome."

story time...
Melissa and i have been friends for a loooooong time.  i'm talkin 18+ years here.  and now, we're also neighbors in the neighborhood we grew up in.  how sweet is that?!  (icing on the cake that my awesome father-in-law is our next door neighbor and backyard neighbors with Melissa and Andy!)  so we all hang out a lot.  they love our kids and the kids love them in return.  we get together for dinner several times a week.  we laugh, have fun, and joke around a lot, so it shouldn't have been a big surprise that friday happened the way it did.

playing Equinox Laser Tag in Lemon Grove, CA

Andy and Ryan's birthdays are only a day apart (plus a few years ;)).  the 8th and the 9th.  so friday we plan to have friends over for dinner and kind of a birthday celebration, but mostly just to hang out and eat good food.
 Ocean Beach, CA -- me, hubs, Andy, Melissa & Tom (Andy's dad)

i got the girls to school and then ran errands with Mookie and Ryan to get last minute stuff for dinner.  we picked up Miss and when we pulled into the driveway, the car died.  DIED.  and not because hubs turned it off.  man.  what a way to spend your birthday, with people coming over for dinner.  sheesh.  needless to say, hubs was stressed and a little cranky.
 Melissa and i, CA -- totally hot in those glasses!  ;)

there's not a lot we can do at that point.  we've got to get things ready for dinner.  hubs borrows his dad's car to pick up Milee from school and then it's time to bbq the chicken.
 me, hubs, Vicki and Tom (Andy's parents) Santee, CA

Andy showed up with his dad in his car and i'm thinking, "why did he drive around the corner when he could have just walked thru the yard?" (their backyard and my FIL's have a gate in the fence that they use when they come over)  and as soon as Andy walks in the house, he hands me the key to his car and says, "i'm leaving my car here for you guys to use until you get your car fixed."  
 Melissa and I (i'm so tough) at Blickenstaffs for Date Night yesterday

wow.  without even asking if we needed the help.  without waiting to see if we'd ask.  he just volunteered his vehicle, willing to walk to work and use Melissa's car when she got home from work.  we really are so blessed to have them in our lives.  without the use of his car, i'd be in a real pickle.  with milee's school and then taking miss to preschool in the next city and picking them both up on time... it could be really difficult.  that's not to say that there aren't others that would be ready and willing to help me out with that, but this way, i feel less like i'm putting someone out for their time to chauffeur my kids and i around all day long.
 Date Night (yesterday) at the Provo Beach Resort -- Skee Ball Tourney!

but it's just like Melissa and Andy to be so willing to help where they can.  and without any thought.  they're always ready to do anything they can to help.  including cleaning my house, taking care of the back yard, gardening, laying new flooring, watching my kids so i could go to the temple while my brother's family was sealed for eternity after Regan's adoption last month, fixing the stupid car....  the list is never ending.
 Hubs set the new high score on Skee Ball last night - 440

so i just wanted to publicly say THANK YOU from the bottom of our hearts to Andy and Melissa for being the kind of friends that some people only dream of having.  we love hanging out with you guys and cherish all the memories we've all made together doing completely random, but meaningful things.  :)  you guys are the best!!
 first set of pictures for our Date Night tradition
photo booth photos at the Provo Beach Resort

i hope that everyone has a "Melissa" or an "Andy" in their life and in case you don't, i hope that you find one. (or two!) or, even better, i hope YOU can BE one to someone else.
 Date Night Tradition - March 10, 2012

count your blessings, friends.  and when you do, i hope among the list are friends that you hold close to your heart.  i am blessed with many, which can be so very rare.  friends and family alike fall into this category for me, and for that i am also grateful.
not sure why this won't rotate, but look how much fun they are!!
they're truly awesome.  :)

Tuesday, January 31, 2012


 that's right!
i'm having a SALE, baby!
 i always find a need to clean things out
when i'm getting ready to go somewhere
 and since i'm prepping for 10.  WHOLE.  DAYS.
of vacation without my babies
just me and my hubs (swoon!)
the need to clean out some things has hit me.
lucky you!!
 so from now until Tuesday, February 7th
everything i have READY TO SHIP in the shop
is 40% off!!
just use code: CLEANUP at checkout
 there are limited quantities on everything listed
and when i get back from vacation, my next "To Do"
is work on my NEW shop, Miss Mookie
it's been a loooooong time coming with a lot of help and direction
from one of my most cherished friends and i can't wait to dedicate some real time to it!
 so head on over to the shop and find yourself some fun goodies!
everything will ship before i leave on the 10th!!
perfect for Valentine's Day!

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Everyday look

I've decided to use minimal makeup on a day to day basis. I've always kind of worn a lot. Ever since I started wearing it. That's not to say that I wore so much that I needed to carry a travel size shovel with me to scrape it off every night (very rarely do I even wash my face at night. Naughty, I know.). I just always wanted to look "done."

Now, it suits my available time to only wear what I feel is really necessary, rather than everything. So it's: foundation/mineral powder, mascara and a tiny bit of blush so I don't look dead. Perhaps a dab of concealor here or there if my face hates me at the time. ;) Compared to my old usual of: foundation/mineral powder, concealor, brow filler, 3 shades of eye shadow, liquid liner, mascara and blush. I'll save that for the times I feel I need to be a little more dressy. :)

It feels great to minimize in this department. While I want to be beautiful, I don't want to be beautiful because of my makeup. This way, more of the real me shows through. And I like that. :)

Do you read Thrifted Things?  Katherine is a cousin of one of my friends and she's awesome!  This post really got me thinking about this whole not enough/too much makeup thing.  Check her out!  (and check out my friend Sophie and her sisters on their blog too.  This family is FULL of good ideas AND saving money!)

Monday, January 16, 2012

let's be honest.

it's no secret that i struggle with self confidence.  i've talked about it before.  and it's been a while since i've had any big issues with it, but last night was just one of those nights where i was (apparently) a little sensitive.  what was meant to be a joke, my brain interpreted as something else and that's where the bad self-talk, the self questioning came into play.

why is that?  why is it that we as women do that to ourselves?  not to say that men can't/don't do it as well, but it just seems so much more prevalent in women.  or maybe it's just me.  i dunno.  some days i can handle it, laugh it off as the joke it's meant to be.  and other days it just eats at me.  hangs out in the back of my mind, always there to put me in my place if i get feeling a little too good about myself.  stupid bad self-talk.

i hate how it makes me question everything about myself.

i'll never be the kind to turn heads.
why even try to work out if it's not going to work anyway?
do i just stop and be stuck the way i am now forever?
or worse than i am now?
he said it trying to be funny, but is that what's really on his mind?
you're being too sensitive, he didn't mean it....  right?

it's like a constant circle of self-abuse.  you think one thing that might be positive, but then a question comes up that turns it right back into negative.  i hate that.  i hate what it does to me.  i hate what it does to us.  only i'm not quite sure how to fix it.  all i  know is that it's a continual work in progress for me.  

today is a new day.  a chance to push it behind me and look to a brighter day.

Thursday, January 5, 2012


I don't know how things look where you're at, but things here are so bizarre for it being January! Gorgeous, freezing, and no snow. Weird. I kind of like it myself. I hate snow on the roads and drivers that don't know how to drive in it. And it makes work a whole lot easier for my hubs.

But then again, we're losing the water it would've provided too. And hubs' boss and I went in on a season pass for snowboarding. Not so much fun there when the resort is having to MAKE all the snow they have. :/ dang.

Either way, its been stinking cold but oh so pretty here!

Tuesday, January 3, 2012


I just turned 29 in December and I'm only just beginning to figure out who I am and what "my style" is. I've always played it safe, wearing what most everyone else was wearing. Trying to blend in. Trying to disappear.

Well no longer!

I find that while I still enjoy styles that most wear and that don't stand way out, I do like to have ONE thing that does. Bright colored shoes. Or bright socks over skinny jeans with boots. A crazy watch. Crazy shirt. That type of thing. And I kinda like it being "my thing." So that I'm not JUST like my friends or anyone else. Just ME. The saying goes that "imitation is the highest form of flattery" (or something like that) but it mostly just drives me nuts. So in general, and thanks to inspiration from my older bro, I try to choose things based on if I think very many others would wear it. Obviously I won't be THE. ONLY. ONE. wearing said article, but in the group of friends I hang out with, I'd like it to be. I dunno, I'm weird like that.

So a while ago I got some awesome fabric from my grandma. The picture shown is some of what I received. Not really my style when I got it but I figured I might come up with something so I've been saving it. In an effort to decrease my cluttered fabric bin/piles, I've been wrapping it all on homemade fabric bolts made of foam core board cut to 7.5x20 or 22". Fabulous. So I'm wrapping this fabric tonight thinking, "this could be a really cute, flowy skirt" when my hubs says, "Wow. That is really hideous fabric." Hey!! With my newish form of style thinking, it could actually work really well. I should also mention that I don't like being told that either I CAN'T do something, or that I HAVE TO do something. My mind instantly says, "Wanna bet!?" And I go the complete opposite of what I was told. Hubs' comment makes me REALLY want to make something dead sexy with this fabric. I'm not sure what it is exactly. Its quite soft and really drapey. Probably a nightmare to iron. Seems like it wrinkles easily.

I'm thinking high waisted (or thereabouts), hitting just at the knee, and full-ish. Like I said, its got excellent flow to it and I probably have 3 +/- yards of it. We shall see!!

So what do YOU think? Could it be HIP? Or is it HIDEOUS?