Tuesday, June 14, 2011

"KIDS FOR SALE" (vent sesh)

i'm feeling really stressed and overwhelmed lately. and i think it's a lot of things just piling on top of each other that's making me so crazy. so please forgive me while i vent here for a minute. i try to realize that when i'm stressed or moody or just plain cranky, that there's usually a simple explanation behind it so i try to keep things in perspective that way. but recently, i just want to freak out about everything. EVERY. THING. and i know that i have things SO MUCH EASIER than a huge number of people in the world. i try to keep that in mind too.

so we just moved. not far, just across town and now we live right next door to hub's dad. (nicest, sweetest, most genuine man in the world) and the move went pretty smoothly considering that we found out on a Friday that we could move in the following Wednesday. so we packed, cleaned the house we moved to (that's a whole other post), moved our stuff to the garage and storage shed, waited for the carpet cleaners (yet another post), and finally got our things moved in (still in boxes) only to have to go back and clean our apartment for check out on wednesday. it was crazy and there is no way we could have done it without help from amazing friends and family. no way at all.

i like things to be organized. if i need something, i want to know that it's exactly where i think it should be. having everything in boxes and not remembering which box i put something in means that i have to open boxes and rifle through to see if it happens to be in that particular box. no? move on to the next box. and the next. and the next. until i have a dozen open boxes and crap everywhere. a rushed move didn't allow for very good labeling of contents in boxes.

hubs is still working during the day so i'm doing a lot of things with the 3 kids in tow while he's gone. stress. mookie still needs to nap, the girls still want to eat lunch when i could have gone without eating. number one was still in school when we moved so i had to stop to take/pick her up. the stop and go of the day didn't allow me to make very good progress in getting things sorted and put away.

add into all of this, the girls incredible lack of listening skills. any that they had previously, flew out the window and out of our lives. it still remains to be seen if they'll find more. this is where most of my stress lies. (among bills, boxes, and being a woman, etc) i just get so tired of being mad at them for doing things they KNOW they shouldn't be doing. things i've told them so. many. times. to not do. or the times that i have to repeatedly tell them to "knock it off" or "be quiet" or "put that away" i just want to scream! and i do. more than i'd like to admit. like they're testing EVERYTHING to my limits.

i want to do fun things with them. i want to have fun and take pictures and go to fun places. but when they're so naughty, why would you reward that?? yeah, it sucks for me, because not only are they getting punished but i am as well being stuck at home because i don't want to take them anywhere. they don't listen and don't listen and don't listen. so they spend a lot of time in their room these days. which is where they are now. they have no toys in there. not one. just their bed, a bucket of shoes and their closet. the barbie house, barbies, books, dress ups, toys - all in storage. and i want to give them back, but then they act all naughty again and it's easy to say "forget it"

i feel like i need a break. i love my kids. i truly do. they (and my hubs) are my life. without them i am not "me" but oh my goodness, it's a challenge! every. single. day. and maybe it's just because they're girls and so am i. maybe it's because number one is just like me. or that number two has a serious attitude issue. or that mookie is most definitely a momma's boy. or that they're ages almost 6, 4 and almost 1. i'm not sure. maybe it's me. whatever it is, i need to figure it out and find the balance. because i don't feel balanced. i feel chaotic and crazy and cranky and stressed and completely out of whack!

i need a break. and i want it for like a week. just me and my hubs, maybe some friends, but no kids. when i'm out without them, just running errands or whatever, i feel so much lighter. happier even. no worrying about who's touching what and where are they and who needs to go potty or needs a bottle. just me. when i get home, the heaviness sets in again and i'm instantly snappy and yelling about every little thing.

this is getting lengthy. sorry about that.

bottom line, i love my kids. but i'm feeling the stress of a bunch of stuff right now and am not myself. the shop will stay closed until i feel ready to re-open it. there are so many things i want to do and sew and i just don't have the time or patience to do them right now. i apologize for that. if you have any questions, please shoot me an email at ohlittlemookie(at)gmail(dot)com.

i sincerely apologize for those who are still waiting on things. i've just about got my work area set up and then i'll be sure to get things out to you.

thank you all for your time and patience while i find myself again!! :) loves to you all!!


abby said...

oh man, you did it! i am so excited for you! (and sad that i have no reason to go back to the apartments?) very cool leslie. i can't wait to see it.

as for the kids, does it help you to know i'm struggling with the same things? i seriously wonder if milo is deaf some days. i have to repeat things 8 times before he decides to pay attention. and pearl...well, you know pearl. ack! hang in there.

Sheena said...

Leslie, I'm pretty sure it's the summer bug cause I'm in a similar boat on the same river :) The kids are TURDS most days, no listening and lots of whining. I totally understand why parents let their kids play outside ALL. DAY. LONG. in the summer, cause I have to admit I totally do that.
If you want a little break let me know, you are always welcome to bring the kids and chill for a little while. :)

Brooke said...

so sorry to hear that you're feeling this way. i'm sure the stresses of moving would not be easy on anyone.
don't worry. you're kids are normal and so are you. lots of no listening, talking back, whining in my house.

RaLyn said...

Hey, sis! I felt that way to but had to deal with G'ma on top of it. YOU are a fabulous mom. Don't ever forget that. And you are a fabulous woman, all by yourself. You are everything that I dreamed you could be. (and more) I will be home and can take a day or two off and spend with the kids while you go and do YOUR things. I love you. Don't give up. They do grow up and they will regret all the dumb things they are doing now. Hang in there. Loves...mom.

Kight Family said...

Kids!!!! Is this really what we signed up for?
Hopefully the girls are just acting out because of the new environment and the chaos of moving. But I hope your summer is a nice chill one and the kids are better.
Oh and I want to come see you, that would be so fun!!!!!

sisters4saymoreismore said...

first of all... i LOVE your blog! so real and funny... i feel like i know the real you! second... i totally get it! i get overwhelmed so easily, there are so many things that you said that i swear have come out of my mouth more than a few times... hang in there girl! in the mean time i will be reading your blog!